2004.03.26 16.03 hollywood vs. the ape1 (from livejournal) this town constantly amazes me and depresses me at the same time all the time and i find it very confusing. wed i began a two day extra job for a pilot called "eyes". i was in no mood to talk to aspiring actors on wed (who only talk about "breakin' in"), so i chose to ride the day out by myself, playing the loner in the corner, writing in his journal (actually i was working on my new comic, but they didn't know that). i was openly a jerk, a pit bull, not a good first impreesion, but it was fun, in that pleasure out of sheer solitude and boredom kind of way. that night, it was my friend morgan's b-day. she rented out a room at the standard downtown, a high class l.a. hotel. we partyed on the roof for a while, jumping up & down on water beds, that were made into giant couch/benches and overlooking the l.a. cityscape 13 stories up. the view was breathtaking. rich hollywood types and minor celebrities were mingling around us, video projections were being cast upon the buildings around us, and besides the opening comment of this entry, i can't help but to often feel like we're living INSIDE a movie. there isn't any seperation here. day two of the pilot shoot was a bit friendlier. the exhaustion of the past two nights had finally caught up to my personality, and i became friendlier as i got more lucid. sometimes i like to act like i'm an aspiring actor too, just to get the inside scoop, or gossip, or just to lead them on. it's really rare to find anyone in that scene that's actually cool. everyone trying to "make it" usually doesn't have a clue. if they look cool, it's an illusion. the few that are,already made it, and if you want to meet them, you have to hope for a happenstance or wait in line outside a club for hours, but wouldn't you rather do that at six flags? i pretty much went straight to "fucking awesome" (my dj night @ the beauty bar) right after that. steve aoki and threw out the jams, switching off every half hour until spencer moody showed up to take over for a while at around 12:30. it was fun. the crowd has been getting more hollywood lately and i need to find a way to get the kids back. the douchbags tend to scare them off. anything that's cool, usually gets processed in this town and the kids have to keep jumping ship and running to a new place. cycles, cycles. eh, i just don't think i've been putting forth the effort i was when i originally moved here. this being homeless stuff is starting to get to me. my far away crush showed last night. from far away i called her in the afternoon and left a voicemail inviting her down. she showed at 1:15am. i showed her the flyer i made that had a drawing of her on it (i'm so cheesy when it comes to that shit. i use crushes like a muse. remember the whole amy devine phase?). she took an extra copy to send to her mother. i asked her if she wanted to play a part in my new comic. she said yes. we might actually hang out tonight, i don't know. i'm afraid to touch her, she's so small, i'm scared she might break, but i can't talk to her either. i choke up, like in sitcoms. it's embarrasing, but not quite as precious as her. oooh i need to stop thinking about this. dawn of the dead party tonight w/jenny lewis, then mass fx parties! xoxo