2003.10.04 16.40 i hate the rain... (from livejournal) one thing about seattle i certainly will not miss are the grey days. today: grey, no sun, cold. it reminds me of the scene in 28 days later when the main character wakes from his coma and steps out into the streets of london. everything is dead. i have to hand it to the weather here though, it's always had a nack for reflecting my mood. the depression is setting in, enter grey day stage left. someone dies, boom! cracka! rain pours. what the fuck? the last time i made a major move, i was 20 years old, living in bloomington, in. i was playing in a band, had a good car, place to live, awesome town, good friends, ect.. i met a girl on the internet, got it into my head that there were bigger and better things for me on the west coast, quit everything and left. it seemed right, especially when i was planning it. everything was perfect. i was in love, i'd be away from my home town, independent. i was gonna make MY dreams come true. as i began to leave, everything fell to shit. the girl and i broke up, she'd found another guy. heartbroken, i went anyway. i drove across the country only to arrive in seattle and have my car break down (my destination was bellingham). i spent a good chunk of the money i had saved, fixing it. then, when i got to bellingham, it got broken into and everything of value inside got stolen. a few weeks later, i drove back down to seattle again and it broke down a second time. i had no money to fix it. i ended up being homeless on the streets for three days until finally, while sitting at a coffee shop, drinking coffee with my last dollar, the barista offered to buy it off me. $300. i paid rent with that money. it got me a bus ticket home. it took me four months to find a job in bellingham. i was living off of random pieces of fruit i would steal from the college cafeteria. when i finally found my first job, i got fired after one day for not showing up on my day off (?). i ended up working as a temp at a crab factory, working 12 hour days, slicing up frozen crabs with a buzz saw. i never saw daylight. i was exhausted. i stunk like fish. eventually things got better, but those first 8 months there were dismal hell. i know i'll make it through what ever happens, but please, this time, i hope things go a bit smoother. just something. Mood: exanimate Music: Fugazi