Franki Chan Blog

03/27/04 - my mind isn’t spotless

2004.03.27  17.22 my mind isn't spotless (from livejournal) i just finished watching "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind." i leave the theatre lost in a sea of memory, both good and bad, looking, again to the future, missing old friends and wondering why i haven't taken the time to appreciate them as much as i did in the past. i miss wondering the street at night, exploring, laughing at inside jokes, sitting in a dark room, wrapped in conversation, exposing secrets. i miss the small things. i miss trusting someone. i sat in the dark theatre, legs wrapped up on the "couch seat", fading in and out consiousness. as jim carey's character rapidly lost the memories of his love, i was reliving mine of loves lost and childhood insecurities. it was as if i was lost in a vivid dream. it affected me in ways i don't yet understand. i'm questioning my life, i always question my life, but this time it feels like a new perspective. i want to understand my past, not run away from it. there are so many things that hurt and yet are intertwined with my most precious moments. i'm not much of a cryer, but i do miss the ones i've left behind. Mood: thirsty Music: catpower