"Taking A Stand Isn't What It Used To Be"
It's finally here…. SXSW. Weird. Our label manager JAY PARKIN flew in from CHICAGO today to have a pre AUSTIN meeting so we could work out all the last kinks of the party. I really don't know what we were thinking. Not only was his flight delayed several times, but this party is an ever growing monster. I swear I'm gonna have a stroke before it's over (or just a lot of fun, either or, you'll probably find me passed out and drunk somewhere behind the stage midway through SHE WANTS REVENGE's set).
Don't let my pre party jitters get the best of anyone though. I'm always like this. I'm the kind of guy that every time I drive, I imagine I'm gonna collide headfirst with the median. It's just who I am. It's no wonder that at this, the 11th hour, that I feel like the walls are closing in and long time mates are jumping ship. Am I crazy? Probably, but god forbid going into something and thinking it'll actually work out without a hitch. I've already had my one perfect day of my life (my 21st b-day, who'da thunk?), I don't think anyone gets allotted another.
To continue kind of on the subject (not really), I've been thinking a lot about bullies lately. My father was a bully. He had that way of just scaring the shit out of you, while at the same time imposing the impossible standard no one could live up to. All the while he broke all of his own rules. It was terrible to deal with because I always had a problem of wanting to call him out on it. He could charm the pants out of anyone and often times I felt like the only person that could see his flaws. In fact, they completely over shadowed his entire persona to me (ala, President Bush and his mates vs. watching them on tv, get it?) Eventually I called him out a little too much I ended up being booted from the house.
Again, high school, junior high school, all of my adolescent life, I was constantly being picked on (I'm sure almost everyone can relate). I was ALWAYS the nerdiest kid in school. In fact, I lived right next to my high school and junior high school. I'd be in my back yard playing with my G.I. Joes after school and kids would walk by and heckle me (8th grade) or me and the other fat kids would get made fun of for our pegged jeans and partaking in 'nintendo club' (7th grade). I even got chased home once by a bunch of seniors in a pick up truck with rifles (10th grade)! Senior year, after being gone from my school for two years, I moved back. With the success of Nirvana and Green Day, suddenly punk had become cool. Since I was the only punk kid in school, suddenly all those kids that would routinely kick my ass began trying to become friendly instead. Most people would breathe a sigh of relief and go with the flow. "Finally!" they would say. But not me. I'm an idiot. I went and told them all to fuck off. The beatings began all over again.
It just goes to prove that in some cases honesty is not the best policy, right?
I don't think so. I think what it really proves is accountability is practically non-existent. I live in Hollywood, CA and work in the entertainment industry. Accountability is not part of the vocabulary in these parts. You fuck someone over, it's best not to talk about it. You steal an idea, never happened. And god forbid you try to call anyone out for it. Suddenly you're the problem for having the gall to speak up.
The funny thing is, I see all these same people bitching and moaning when, say, the Bush administration, does the same thing. How many times have they created a pile of shit and taken absolutely no responsibility for it? We are at war! Our cities are being destroyed! Our rights are being stolen from us!
Lately the fuck ups have been happening more often. Bush's and Cheney's approval ratings are at an all time low. The one reoccurring question I keep hearing from friends and media a like is: When is enough, enough? What's it gonna take till people take a stand?
Well, look in the mirror. How are we any different? Really. While we all love tales of heroes and martyrs, but in this day and age, taking a stand is entirely out of fashion. "Don't rock the boat, man. I'm making money over here." The truth is, nothing is going to change until we all take accountability and responsibility, not only to ourselves, but to the world for allowing all of this happen. And yeah, we may have not voted for Bush, but what have we done to prevent that environment from happening in the first place? That has to become more important to all of us than the newest episode on 'Lost' (which I totally understand is a tough choice).
It's a hard choice to make, to take accountability for your actions. Obviously we all can't admit how fucked we all really are (imagine that!), I don't think people could handle it, but maybe we can start by just admitting to one thing to one person instead of ignoring that there's even a problem at all. Sounds so much easier than being a bully, doesn't it?
Just to try to round this out, I have no idea what any of that has to do with our UNOFFICIAL BLOWOUT. I'm just excited that it's finally gonna happen! I'm gonan sleep for days after 14 hours of party. See everyone in AUSTIN.
3/16/06